now i know why i became what i already was.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
