so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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