the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
