Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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