the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
