So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
