yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it hurts more in the daytime
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
