Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I still have a little drunk in my system
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
