I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I believe in your delicious
Randomize