Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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