i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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