Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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