For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
