My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
