Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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