now i know why i became what i already was.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
