Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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