Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
