i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
