she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
