awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
