Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
