if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You can't special order awesome
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
