i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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