I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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