My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
