And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
