OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
