So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
