I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
