But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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