Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
