If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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