My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think my fart just growled at me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
