I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize