Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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