Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
