We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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