Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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