hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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