I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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