Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
