the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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