this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
