I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I would ride that face into the sunset
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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