i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
