Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
