i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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