If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
