New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
