Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize