I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
