Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
