I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
