Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
