so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
