Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
