im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
