I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
