are you so shy because you have an std?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Boobs are out for the taking
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
