Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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